LOVE ON A LEASH (2011)

Incredibly entertaining braindead romantic 'comedy' where all the attempts at humor fall through the floor, yet you're laughing anyway because of how unintentionally ridiculous and stupid it all is. like, there's a scene where the main character is confessed to by a gay man, and then moments after rejecting him her boss attempts to rape her, and then she makes out with her dog. None of that is the climax of the film either--that's the first twenty minutes. Despite a runtime of just an hour twenty, LOVE ON A LEASH passes through with the content of a TV season. Plot points zip around like they've spotted a squirrel, and even just fifteen seconds of looking away is enough to completely lose your grip on the conflicts that bubble and brew throughout. You'll have more in common with Ted Kaczynski by the end than you thought possible.

There's maybe two whole scenes that drag on for longer than they should--LOVE ON A LEASH otherwise never fails to keep you watching, guessing, anticipating the climaxes of plot points that never actually happen along with climaxes that shouldn't have happened but did anyway. I'm docking a lot of points for schizophrenic characterization, of course, because the motivations of just about anyone but the dog are unable to be understood whatsoever, and I'm also not happy at the lack of real exploration of the concept. Like, there's a scene where the woman brings her dog husband to the dog park and she ends up getting into a fight with him, but no onlookers actually pay attention and the scene just transitions out to the next roller coaster ride. And how is the dog getting to his secret under the table job? Mutt makes more than I do.

Alas, the writer leashed himself. He was more interested in writing FAMILY GUY dialogue for a golden retriever than he was actually exploring his asinine concept. The film invokes my personal rule: if you can't go all the way, don't go at all. Now, that's just directed at the staff. You, the possible viewer? Get viewing. Now, boy!